you don't choose LOVE; love chooses you!

In my first year of college..my mantra was.."BEING SINGLE IS COOL"..i never wanted to get into a relationship..that too a serious one..lovey-dovey kinda..urghhh..but things changed with time..its so unpredictable..life has its own ways to teach you..lovin someone..caring for someone..sharing every lil' thing with him..thinkin abt him...everythin is soooooo magical..believe me..its the most beautiful thing!!!

I love him more with each passing day..he seems to be perfect..every little thing he says..every compliment he pays..means the world to me..!

I'm madly in love with him..i love the pain wen he's away..i love the smile that i bring to his face..lovin n being loved in return..truely DIVINE..!

A Million Dollar Question

We all talk about passion, commitment, determination etc etc etc......Aspiring engineers businessmen read autobiographies of the eminent few to get inspired and take a cue from them. I am a simple but a highly motivated individual...who is always beating his brains out trying to gauge what interests him...Well thats something many of us have pondered upon without any noticeable result and in an attempt to carry on with something that doesn't interest us, we become more frustrated and a debacle to our family and society.

Sometimes i seriously, intentionally and whole heartedly appreciate our parents for carrying on with something which they don't like for so long again and again and again( C'mon who likes cooking three times a day...give me a break and who likes to keep going office daily carrying out his mundane work all day). The implications can be extremely annoying and irritating, often leading to instability in family-life.

The need I felt, writing this article over here, cause I was moved by a very interesting problem confronting a very good friend of mine. My friend is an artist, an extremely creative soul, a dramatist, but is unfortuantely stuck in an engg. course called Information Technology, purely because of parental pressure( cause engg in Inda is the easiest way to get employment).

Still he kept on working on many scripts, organizing plays in the college and opening his very own drama club with a little assistance from the college. Generally the viewership rose and the talent was there to see. Now came the campusing time and this creative soul had to go back to his f****g(thts wht he says) books and prepare for placement.

He gets the job, family is happy, flounting their child name in the relatives and society. Now he realizes that he doesnt want this from life, he realizes that he wont do justice to his talents if he continues as such. He plans out everything, how he would do an advertising course, how he would approach directors, how he would generate contacts, where would he live etc etc etc.

Normally after the engg. course gets over, we get a break of 2-3 months before joining any organization. He thought this time would be enough, to initiate his venture.Now an eternal force holds him by the scruff of his neck, plays a game. His joining date is 5 days after graduation. He has to join, no alternative, his dreams shattered, no options. His parents wont allow him to leave that organization. He is feeling choked, blaming the eternal force for all the mishappening that has ever happened to him.

A very good friend suggests," Dekh Yaar u owe a lot to your parents, u cant just say no". At this he cries realizing his dreams are slowly but surely going down the dumps. His very good friends stands there helpless and hapless, thinking of the quandary which is so perplexing.

Do u people have an answer to this million dollar question. Should this person go against the world and pursue his dreams, the so called interests, or should he surrender, like most of us have till now.

I have become quiet a veteran now, facing this dilemma, but i guess my friend is fortunate enough to know what he wants from life. Many of us or most of us are still pondering over what is our ultimate goal in this life, our ultimate karma.

A famous yet inspiring book "The Alchemist" paints a very interesting picture in this regard. It says that you just need to follow the signs that god arranges for you. Now that calls for living in the present and not pondering over the future and just keep on following the signs. If you are made to do something you would ultimately land up there, COME WHAT MAY.

TTT - The Time Traveller

The time frame i was in always differed a lot from others who were striving hard for each and every thing they wanted in their life... The past and future is always been a myth to me..

A lot of people vary with our opinions amidst our fact being right or wrong.. Its just that., they have some kinda objection for whatever we bring out.. same as we.. we also have the same kinda scientific disease.. its not epidemic.. its cultivated all in ourself.. thats why White blood cells got act as a saviour in the cases where the Red cells try to dominate..

The time traveller was my best friend.. until i realised that i dunt need it.. is it contradicting., how can ya dunt need ya best friend.. well., it was kinda MPD that created and annihilated all within my neurons!! i travelled a lot back in our history and a lot forward in the future., he tuk me where ever i wanted..

One day., it was like., a dampned twilight during those spring evenings.. when suddenly it showered., i wanted to make myself drooped in those un-seasonal rain water.. my soul was even more thirsty., i was kinda stuck my some kinda awe.. i met sumone., right in front of me.. he was, rather it was a kinda impression which i saw in the rain waters that were railing down wards to the earth..

It sed me., that i can do to any place of any time period i wished., i went to my childhood and saw myself so happy and not caring abt any other things.. then again., i went to future to my settled time in which i was relaxed a lot having the sip of my last few days.. i came back to present.. when i cud be happy and relaxed at the beggining., why this fuss and fussed up things all inbetween..

I cud remember the dialogue from a famous film : "we kip one foot in the past., another in the future and piss at the present" ha ha., very funny.. well this friend of mine was so sweet., for the reason it cud do things unimaginable., but it was the one which made me find so miserable of what i am..

I felt., this.. having too much good is also a bad.. i know sumthng that is not very ineterstin for all of ya.. the DEJA VU's everyone have is not really a imagination.. its the minds power to think a lot before it happens..

Time travellin is not possible.. juz forget it.. make things around ya in ya present to be more beautiful which inturn makes u more beautiful.. love ya surroundings and it will be the best that can make ya happy forever..

AIZY

Sweet Child Of Mine !

Where were me before., i started searchin those identity., of which i have lost all the details..

This turn of life., is always unforgettable only when ya reach a time space while it become precious.. For us., the thing we are in is not as much important cos we dont understand its values..
We get to know abt sumthn only when it leaves us., or we move away

I wanted to fly like a bird., with my wings flippin in the wind which has no other obstacles.. But., most of us become like someone who has been hatched and spent the life time inside the shell with both his wings unopened without a chance to.!

I know how much it hurts when u feel depressed., but when u come out of it and have a blast out of nowhere., the pleasures are unimaginable.. U feel gifted.. u feel immortal.. u feel the soul inside ya to be PURE.. IF u come to know that sumthngs gonna leave ya., u try much harder to kip it beside ya., u try not to allow it out of ya grip..

the same things which was lying all un attended., with no feelings involved..!!

our childhood is one secret desires we all wanted to back in.. the time of ours with full innocence flowing out and the ignorance abt the bad parts of life is always sweet.. our hearts beats are nearly visible..

i want to be back in there., not thru any vision or technolgy.. in my actions and sayings.. in my feelings and emotions.. in my words and punctuations.. in my sights and senses... i wanna redeem that back into me.. i know i wud fail., but that sweet child of mine always lives in me!!

AIZY

Be happy Always with what u have

hey all...i just got this mail ..these pics are so touchin' n so true..have a look..!

I've got Q's bt nt A's !

When u r blank., u feel numb and ur output is goin awesome.. and when u r fulfilled with things all makin ya happy., u get stuck and ur give negative output..

this is the kinda phase im feelin for the past one week.. so only cudnt deliver any post.. and just now., i feel i have reached the slump state i.e., the peak state of my depression.. i was around with my friends., all pouring their love and all havin fun in sum or other way.. i was havin the things what ever i wanted to be goin on the course it needs to be.. still., i found a vaccum filled in my heart..

i cudnt bring out what i was facing literally.. i felt like feelin no emotions as such.. i dunno what i needed., and i dint know what i was thinking.. it was as if a blanket of depression has surrounded me and it dint want me out.. i started suffocating inside...

With just two days for my 21st b'day., people all over wishing me., i was in a emotional turmoil., why!? why!?? i cudnt get me a solution.. but actually i dint have a question for which i wanted a solution.. time was passing away., i was kind of infected part., the depression which i had., was easily founded by friends and they felt the same way a little bit.. so for not making things worse., i moved away from them and made myself alone..

i wanted to ask myself sumthn for which i was acting in such a way.. i was searching a lot inside me., my mind aint workin and my heart aint in a position to think about that.. i wanted to break free from this situation and wanted to be normal.. when a door of light opened., it was concreted by 10 doors of darkness.. i felt like., a souless humane..

my friends., my family., my love-life., my college., my status., my diginity., my health., my wealth etc everything was in a safe position., but the thing is that i lost myself.. this translation period was horrifyin.. it was like., a snail bearing a shell in its back..!! but atleast., it was accustomed to it.. but not me.. we all have mood swings., but it wasnt a kinda of that.. it was like., all my moods feelings and emotions were killed off..

i really wanted to be normal., i cudnt pray., i cudnt think., i cudnt feel., i cudnt eat., i cudnt cry., i cudnt live...

for which., am still searchin a answer.. i feel a little light after ligthing up something infront of someone., i wish and hope i will be fine very soon.. its really hard to be in a position where u dunno whats the problem.. i have had enuf..

pls., lemme out.., lemme face the sunlight., lemme feel the breeze., lemme taste the nectar., lemme smell the blossoms.. lemme be me!!

I want the Questions soon!! else., i will be killing me softly..

AIZY