I've got Q's bt nt A's !
When u r blank., u feel numb and ur output is goin awesome.. and when u r fulfilled with things all makin ya happy., u get stuck and ur give negative output..
this is the kinda phase im feelin for the past one week.. so only cudnt deliver any post.. and just now., i feel i have reached the slump state i.e., the peak state of my depression.. i was around with my friends., all pouring their love and all havin fun in sum or other way.. i was havin the things what ever i wanted to be goin on the course it needs to be.. still., i found a vaccum filled in my heart..
i cudnt bring out what i was facing literally.. i felt like feelin no emotions as such.. i dunno what i needed., and i dint know what i was thinking.. it was as if a blanket of depression has surrounded me and it dint want me out.. i started suffocating inside...
With just two days for my 21st b'day., people all over wishing me., i was in a emotional turmoil., why!? why!?? i cudnt get me a solution.. but actually i dint have a question for which i wanted a solution.. time was passing away., i was kind of infected part., the depression which i had., was easily founded by friends and they felt the same way a little bit.. so for not making things worse., i moved away from them and made myself alone..
i wanted to ask myself sumthn for which i was acting in such a way.. i was searching a lot inside me., my mind aint workin and my heart aint in a position to think about that.. i wanted to break free from this situation and wanted to be normal.. when a door of light opened., it was concreted by 10 doors of darkness.. i felt like., a souless humane..
my friends., my family., my love-life., my college., my status., my diginity., my health., my wealth etc everything was in a safe position., but the thing is that i lost myself.. this translation period was horrifyin.. it was like., a snail bearing a shell in its back..!! but atleast., it was accustomed to it.. but not me.. we all have mood swings., but it wasnt a kinda of that.. it was like., all my moods feelings and emotions were killed off..
i really wanted to be normal., i cudnt pray., i cudnt think., i cudnt feel., i cudnt eat., i cudnt cry., i cudnt live...
for which., am still searchin a answer.. i feel a little light after ligthing up something infront of someone., i wish and hope i will be fine very soon.. its really hard to be in a position where u dunno whats the problem.. i have had enuf..
pls., lemme out.., lemme face the sunlight., lemme feel the breeze., lemme taste the nectar., lemme smell the blossoms.. lemme be me!!
I want the Questions soon!! else., i will be killing me softly..
AIZY
this is the kinda phase im feelin for the past one week.. so only cudnt deliver any post.. and just now., i feel i have reached the slump state i.e., the peak state of my depression.. i was around with my friends., all pouring their love and all havin fun in sum or other way.. i was havin the things what ever i wanted to be goin on the course it needs to be.. still., i found a vaccum filled in my heart..
i cudnt bring out what i was facing literally.. i felt like feelin no emotions as such.. i dunno what i needed., and i dint know what i was thinking.. it was as if a blanket of depression has surrounded me and it dint want me out.. i started suffocating inside...
With just two days for my 21st b'day., people all over wishing me., i was in a emotional turmoil., why!? why!?? i cudnt get me a solution.. but actually i dint have a question for which i wanted a solution.. time was passing away., i was kind of infected part., the depression which i had., was easily founded by friends and they felt the same way a little bit.. so for not making things worse., i moved away from them and made myself alone..
i wanted to ask myself sumthn for which i was acting in such a way.. i was searching a lot inside me., my mind aint workin and my heart aint in a position to think about that.. i wanted to break free from this situation and wanted to be normal.. when a door of light opened., it was concreted by 10 doors of darkness.. i felt like., a souless humane..
my friends., my family., my love-life., my college., my status., my diginity., my health., my wealth etc everything was in a safe position., but the thing is that i lost myself.. this translation period was horrifyin.. it was like., a snail bearing a shell in its back..!! but atleast., it was accustomed to it.. but not me.. we all have mood swings., but it wasnt a kinda of that.. it was like., all my moods feelings and emotions were killed off..
i really wanted to be normal., i cudnt pray., i cudnt think., i cudnt feel., i cudnt eat., i cudnt cry., i cudnt live...
for which., am still searchin a answer.. i feel a little light after ligthing up something infront of someone., i wish and hope i will be fine very soon.. its really hard to be in a position where u dunno whats the problem.. i have had enuf..
pls., lemme out.., lemme face the sunlight., lemme feel the breeze., lemme taste the nectar., lemme smell the blossoms.. lemme be me!!
I want the Questions soon!! else., i will be killing me softly..
AIZY
3 comments:
there comes a time wen u have to stop lookin for an answer....cos u wont find 1 and it'l get u more frustrated...best thing to do : watch a movie, be with friends, listen to music ...wateva, they camourflage the depression for sometime and then u'l realise there was nothin worth gettin depressed for, in the first place....
I agree with Kenneth...it happens with everybody...And trust me girl, it is just one of the mood swings, you are simply thinking too much about it and giving it hell lotta importance....refrain from that and it will fade away....party the night out today!! buy yourself a good book tomorrow...treat yourself for a movie alone and then a nice peaceful place for coffee with that book....unwind yourself from all thoughts...divert your mind by involving yourself deeply into the book and spend this birthday with yourself....your bday gift this year maybe discovering something new about yourself...!! :)
Happy birthday in advance! and have a great day and a happy wonderful long life!! :) Wishing you lots of love and luck!!
Don't Ever Stop Believing In Yourself - You can Beat your Depression
The first two steps in believing in you:
1.Find out who you are 2. Study who you are and get acquainted with yourself
There are times when we believe in everything and everybody but ourselves. There is a constant search for mentors and role models when they exist within us.
The most brutal beating that we take is the one that we inflict upon ourselves. We make one mistake and we count ourselves out before the referee can blow the whistle.
We beat ourselves down into a state of depression. Depression is a dark and dreary place where we drink tears for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We tend to use our carnal mind, eyes and ears that are distorted during this dark time.
Have you ever cried all night long? If so, do not cry a minute past midnight because the bible states that Crying may last for a night. But joy comes in the morning. Midnight is the cut off point for one day and if you cry one minute past midnight, you have blocked your joy from coming. Dry your eyes at midnight if you really have to cry. Place a smile on your face and embrace joy. Cheer up, it's morning time, joy has arrived!
Is self doubt is still hanging around harassing you? If so, get rid of it. You may be saying, "I have made so many mistakes." This is a familiar phrase that has been spoken so faithfully by many people. But, you are not alone. We've all made many mistakes but the more mistakes you make, the more self-doubt and less confidence you will have in yourself.
Imagine yourself as a confident person free from self-doubt. Hold this image everyday until it sinks into your spirit. Whenever negative thoughts about yourself enter your mind, erase them immediately. Confidence will become a way of life for you!
Life can be full of questions and not enough answers. We know that answers are somewhere waiting to be discovered, but the question is where? The things u observed troubled u....
What is it that you don't like about yourself? Talk to God about it and remember that He is the creator and He has a solution to all of your problems.......
AMEN.....
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